But First…Let Me Hate On Selfies

There was a time when mankind was blessed with the ignorance of the ability to take its own pictures and load it up on Facebook, Twitter and such like. Then, came Instagram and the abhorrent word “selfies”.
I’ve rarely ever felt an emotion so strong and negative as hate. I must have done something terribly wrong in one of my lives to ever come to the point where I’ve had to live in a day and age where self-obsession was so amplified because of technology.
I do have friends who take pictures of themselves and I feel as much love as I did for them before the invention of the word “Selfie” but its the concept I loathe.Here’s why:

1. The Word
I’m serious. The word is so annoying. It makes my skin crawl (on itself).

2. People DO take these just to gain attention- well, a lot of them do.
There was a time when people would say something provocative to draw attention to themselves or they’d wear something that was louder than the Trumpet of the Day of Judgement. NOW, you just need to have an Instagram account loaded with filters and your own pictures for recognition. The only guy pulled this off really well was Sean O’Pry. However, the word or concept of selfies never existed when Nigel Barker discovered him. So, technically, he didn’t take a selfie.
NOW every Tom, Dick and Harry takes a selfie and puts himself/herself on his/her IG account in an attempt to gain some form of recognition.

3. Selfie-made Models
Okay, I can understand when renowned or famous people take (what are now called) ‘selfies’. They’re meant to. These guys are famous, people know them and so, various brands and companies give them clothes and goodies for promotion and advertisement- that’s justified. But then, these guys have agents, they’re renowned and it’s part of their lifestyle to take selfies.
There’s this new wannabe subclass that is just as abhorrent as the WORD selfie (no I don’t dislike the people- just what they do when taking selfies). They feel its important for them to wear their Gucci bags, or Faux-da (Prada) heels and to wake on grass or across the street as if though they’re walking on the ramp. They MUST wear and flaunt the latest of everything just because they saw Priyanka Chopra or Gisele Bundchen wear a dress or a certain pair of heels.
Guys are no less. They pout and upload these picture where they strive to look intense when they actually look constipated.
You can tell these guys apart from the rest because of the way they hold up their purses or deliberately show the logos on the sunglasses OR they roll up their Burberry sleeves and such like.
It’s nice to know that they’re OBVIOUSLY God’s gift to mankind and that they love labels and clothes a lot BUT…..no.
4. The Generation S.

There’s the generation X and generation Y. As per Darwin’s theory we evolved from apes but selfie-iites have managed to prove him wrong. They’ve proven that they evolved from ducks. They’re either very shameful of their teeth or they’re still in the process of realizing that they’re human beings now (God forbid they smile). If they’re from the former group, I’d be more than happy to assist in helping them get rid of their teeth.

5. Trial Runs.

Photographers, directors, producers and cameramen/women ask actors, models and the like to try ‘a different pose’ or they try to record videos from different angles. However, Selfie-iites are terminally unhappy with the first shot. Chances are these guys take more pictures than any of the aforementioned people.

6. You become best friends with people you hate- and then you hate them again once you’re done taking a selfie.

I’m very opposed to hypocrisy and always check myself to see if I’m being hypocritical in anyway. Selfiites are blessed with the ability to feel so much love for each other….for one picture….and then, they realize how much they hate each other again and they bitch about one another to the rest of the world.

That’s all for now. 🙂


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