The Push Over Syndrome is something that- I’ve seen- a lot of people ‘suffer’ because of. Most of these people are sweethearts, with the biggest hearts and unfortunately, the least amount of social wit. Frankly, I adore such people- not because they’re pushovers but because they’re selfless and amicable. They’re fun to work with but there’s one problem with them- they don’t know when they’re being pushovers. Here are a few signs of pushovers and if you’ve got any of these ‘symptoms’ deal with them asap because you will suffer in the long run-
1. You’re with friends who push you to do things- and you listen to them.
The only friends you need in your life are those who let you be yourself- not those who are convoluted and deluded enough to believe that they’re right and that everyone should listen to them. Anyone who tries to force you to do something isn’t your friend- he/she is simply using you.
2. You’re in a relationship with someone who doesn’t budge- and yet you’re always available to them.
In such relationships I never know who to be angry at- the push over or the spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend that won’t budge. Anyone who can’t meet you halfway isn’t worth having in your life and that applies to anyone in any kind of relationship.
3. You don’t stand up for yourself when you need to- and you justify your spinelessness.
I’ve been in this position before and so, felt that it was/is important to communicate to Pushovers that being nice is great but you have GOT to defend yourself when necessary. You’ll always come across mean, bitchy people who believe that the world is too cruel to live in. You don’t have to go all Sylvester Stallone on them but stand for what you believe in, believe in what you stand for and be firm. Listen to what opposing people and parties might have to say but if they’re dissing you for no reason, know that you’re in the midst of toxic people.
I remember justifying ‘friends’ for the way they were/are but I’ve come to learn that it’s okay to accept people for who they are but if they’re not doing the same for you, you SHOULD stand up for yourself.
4. You’re scared of other people.
Pushovers are great but they’ll never accept that they’re scared of other people at some level. Know this- if you’re a good person, you have absolutely nothing to fear. No matter what others say about you behind your back, you know yourself and those who love and accept you for who you are will always be part of your life.
5. You believe that others are genuine just because you are, too.
Some people are nice while others aren’t (I’ll write about this in another post) but you believe that others mean well for you when they don’t. Unfortunately, most pushovers suffer because of this and if you’re amongst these people, know that it’s important to ‘test’ people in subtle ways. Observe them and you’ll know if they’re genuine or if they’re just monumental pricks who are programmed to be that way.