Jokes That Are So Over That They Really Need to Go Under- Part 1

Over the past few weeks I’ve been required to read about fashion trends, shows and what-nots. While I enjoyed doing so I felt it necessary to extend the same tone to talk about lame jokes that really need to be left in the past. In other words, these jokes are so horrible, wretched, pathetic, sick, offensive, lame and irritating that if there were a magazine that talked about trendy jokes, it’d definitely set these jokes ablaze. Here are examples:

1. The “Lawyer= Liar” Joke

When I was studying law, people often asked me “Oh, you’re a L-I-A-R? Hahaha”. I almost have an answer for every statement and argument (the substance of my arguments is questionable) but when the Lawyer/Liar joke pops up I’m always at a loss for words- not because I’m shocked but because I’m genuinely trying to understand whether the blabber of this joke thinks he or she is funny (and why). This joke is as antiquated as a 50 year old bottle of wine- except it’s horribly tasteless and just….ugh.

2. Racist/Homophobic/Religious/Sexist Jokes

Such jokes piss me off for two reasons: firstly, everyone’s cracking the same jokes over and over and over and over again and secondly, it puts into one generalized category. This is also one of the reasons I don’t really find world famous comedians funny. Their reliance on a particular category of comedy just goes to show their lack of originality- even if they don’t actually mean what they say.
I’m sorry but if you have to rely on such jokes (regardless of your intentions) you’re just lame because you’re recycling the same bullshit again. Racist jokes are, in my opinion, as sick as the sight of black formal shoes with brown formal belts (the combination just doesn’t go). Unfortunately no one has yet publicly denounced the lameness of racist jokes though.

3. Jokes on One’s Talent(s)
One’s ability to write, sing, sell, speak, etc. should never be taunted. I’ve recently come across all sorts of people that throw shade at one’s talent. Joking about someone’s talents’ is so below the belt and you’re the one who’s going to end with your pants off when you see your ‘victim’ sore to heights that are far higher than your twit-al aspirations.

4. Jokes about One’s Occupation

In the past 25 years of my life I’ve come across several talent-less, low-class people that joke about other people’s occupations. Everyone’s a target for this self-denigrated class of morons- singers, designers, writers, lawyers, dentists, doctors and what-not.
Believe it or not, another person’s occupation isn’t your concern. I understand the inability of this category of people to digest this fact but please, swallow your judgmental statements and try to shit them out. It’ll benefit you.

5. Jokes about One’s Facial Features

Okay, joking to someone’s face about their nose, waistline or such like is acceptable so long as the other person allows it. Bitching about someone’s facial features or making fun of them, ruthlessly, doesn’t make you funny- it just shows how ugly you are on the inside. And no amount of labels or money will make you look or feel good because at the end of the day, you’re still trash.

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