Knowing more than one language is pretty awesome. I never appreciated multilingualism as much as I should have, back when I was younger. However, knowing that your tongue has an eclectic menu (naughty, naughty, get your head outta the gutter- mine’s already there) to offer is quite comforting. So, what are the benefits of knowing more than one (or 2) language?
1. Discounts and slashed prices.
I can’t even begin to explain the joy you’re likely to feel just by knowing that a pathan shopkeeper’s going to slash prices by Rs. 300-500 off of his/her products just because you know his/her language. And if you know Punjabi, for example, you can just throw in a few well-constructed swear words, make them laugh and know that you’re just going to get a product of your choice, on discount.
And then you can give others this “And that’s how it’s done” look.
Note- Pathans are more likely to give you bigger discounts.
2. You can send others into a state of terminal shock by showing you know their language.
Imagine walking into a room and hearing someone insult you in a language that they think you aren’t very familiar with. Just KNOWING that you can understand what they’re saying makes you feel amazing. Also, you can use the same language to cause serious damage or to win people over.
Story from personal experience: a few years ago my best friends and I were on the verge of dying of starvation because we’d voluntarily chosen to eat McDonald’s, late at night, in Islamabad. We couldn’t find seats inside and so, we stepped out and happened to find seats right next to this family of 15-20 Pathan men and women. The ‘head’ of the family happened to pass a comment implying that we had stepped out to eat because we couldn’t get any ‘eye candy’ inside. In retaliation, after the family stopped laughing, I stated, IN PUSHTO that people who felt others didn’t understand their language must be pretty stupid and they’re an insult to their kind.
The family got up and left within a few seconds of knowing that they had insulted someone who was ‘their own’.
3. You get to combine words, metaphors and sentences to come up with amazing comebacks and insults.
Try chaining various words and statements together and you’ll come up with a statement that is insulting and you’ll probably leave your opponent speechless. You’re never at a loss for words or expressions and you get to express yourself in more than one ways.
Also, you can combine the stupidest words and statements to come up with a joke or one-liner that sounds HILARIOUS by combining all the languages you know.
As a bonus, you can say the stupidest things and make them sound supremely sexy/offensive/mean/rude/smart/adorable .
4. You can share secrets with fellow multilinguals in front of other people.
You get to enjoy the luxury of indulging in private conversations IN THE PRESENCE of other people who don’t know your language at all!
5. Flirting’s a lot more fun and sexier.
Of course you enjoy the privilege of switching accents and dialects too. Thus the level of seduction = how well you pull off an accent. Multilinguals don’t have to try to change their accents- they just do so…..effortlessly.