Pakistan is an expert in the production of several raw material and products and one such product happens to be flirts. Social media, real life experiences- of my own and those that I’ve heard of or learned from others- and life in general has been highly supportive of the general perception that this is a fun, interesting breeding ground for the smoothest flirts in the world.
Let’s explore a few:
- The “Dear…..” Types
Up until the age of 17 I presumed “Dear” was a word that people used to refer to one another affectionately or to start a letter, written to some entity, sitting across the globe. Of course, the advent of social media brought with it a world of frustration and plethora of people who’s only source of communication to the outside world was an empty display picture and a conversation that started with “Dear, y3W H@Ve Am@z1Ng smile” (Translation: Dear, you have amazing smile)- because, of course, who wouldn’t find that charming.
Then, of course, there are the “Dear….” types that make you regret ever having features that God has gifted you with because then, you start to wonder whether those particular features were made to attract a world of Sleazbola.
Exhibit A (citing a friend’s experience aka citing a violation to an innocent bystander’s Facebook inbox): “Nyce eyezzzzz….dear”- because, you know, grammatical errors are so sexy.
- The “I’ve seen you somewhere” Types
Yes, thank you, it’s always flattering to know you’re worth a stalker or two………except…. it’s not. This particular breed of flirters is far more suave (at least in it’s own head) than any other. Please note “I’ve seen you somewhere” is a conversation starter. It’s not supposed to creep you out (except it does).
And if you present a subtle confrontation by asking “Where?” they’ll go through your friend’s list and talk about a particular party that a mutual friend might have thrown….that you never went to. Shit just got creepier, right?
- The “Wanna Frandship” Types
God has been kind enough to keep me away from this form of verbal destruction to the English language but I’ve heard that this particular breed of flirters is on the rise. Evidently they’re being reproduced and launched into the market by manufacturers in packs now. They’re kinda like the “Lawn” joras and trends that seem to be all the rage in Pakistan- since the past 4 years.
Don’t make the mistake of assuming you won’t come these flirters. They’re like the apocalypse: just around the corner and ready to strike you at any moment or time. So don’t be surprised if “iNNoX3nT Prinx3Ss” sends you a message in your inbox at 230 AM. Chances are they’re just waiting for the right moment.