Maybe I’ve been listening to Britney Spears’ “Toxic” too much or I’ve just been mentally haphazard more than I need to be but it’s never too late to write on something that could help readers understand when and if they’re encountering toxic people…..or if you’re amongst this group of peeps yourselves.
So, how DO you know if you’re toxic (or are dealing with a person who’s full of hate and loathing)?
You belittle people.
I mean, that’s just a no-go area. If someone’s sensitive about an issue and you still bring up that issue in front of an audience because it makes YOU feel good, validated and enables you to derive some sort of sick pleasure from targeting them like that, you might as well write “Caution: I’m Toxic” on your head and dive head first into an empty pool. Belittling people about something that’s personal is just plain mean and rude. The world’s got enough fake products and people out there and you don’t need to be amongst them.
You don’t mind throwing people in front of the bus….so long as you’re safe.
If you’ve got a friend in need of your help or a colleague who’s helped you in some capacity or the other and you don’t mind stepping on them to seem like an angel or to succeed, you might as well take that halo off and say bye bye to your success because Karma’s just around the corner, waiting to strike.
Good friends/colleagues/people acknowledge the worth and effort of those who have helped them achieve their goals. Bad ones….well…they do what you do.
You discourage people because it makes you feel good about yourself.
Most people out there need that encouraging jolt or vibe that makes them feel like they can do whatever they want to- while keeping realities in mind, of course. But if you’re amongst the kind of people who like to rub the harsh ‘facts’ in their faces because YOU don’t want them to succeed, deep down inside, get off of that high horse and let it gallop all over your back.
You point out what others have done wrong…..when in fact you’ve done the same things before (or will do them in the future).
It’s funny how most people don’t realize how they’re doing the EXACT same things that they condone in others. By way of example I was hanging out with a bunch of people that referred to one another as ‘close friends’ or ‘best friends who I’d kill others for’ but they said the meanest, most awful things about one another behind their backs. This wasn’t a venting session- it was actually a few hours long conversation on why the other person was horrible and how they needed to ‘fix themselves’….
Of course a few weeks later I found that somehow their ire and disgust didn’t apply to themselves because, you know, they’re saints who can do no wrong. If you happen to fall under this category, shame on you.
You’re downright rude and mean to people who are not as privileged as you.
It’s one thing to stand up to someone if they’re being offensive towards you but being rude and taking advantage of your privilege over someone who’s not as fortunate as yourself is probably one of the worst things you could do.
Being mean to a waiter; commenting on someone’s clothes and appearance and talking about them as if they’re objects of distaste, disgust (and your entertainment) is not ‘cool’ nor ‘funny’. It just goes to show that you’ve got an awful personality and approach to life that’s dependent upon belittling others for your own sad satisfaction.