How To Know You’re in Good Company

Have you ever questioned whether you were in good company (which refers to both, a group of people and/or an individual) or whether your choice of friends actually returned the love and adoration that you felt for them? Alternatively, have you ever felt that your sentiments weren’t being shared or felt by those that you thought you loved and called your friends and family?

We’ve all been through those moments when we’ve felt dubious about our choice of company or such like but we like to ignore the gut feelings that resonate within us, screaming at us to be careful of that person we believe feels the same way about us that we do them. So, HOW can you tell whether you’re in good company?

You feel inspired whenever you’re in good company.

When you’re in good company, you know you’re around people who believe in themselves, one another and that translates into positive energy that enables them to carry your energy and turn it into something more constructive, unintentionally. This, in turn, gets your creative juices flowing and you actually feel like doing something with your life.

You can’t help but feel safe around good company.

When you’re around such people you feel at home and trust them intuitively. You don’t feel the need to put much effort into being yourself around them because you know they will not judge you nor disclose your secrets to others. You can be how and who you are around them and sometimes you might find yourself telling them things that you never felt you could or would be able to share with anyone.

Their optimism is contagious. 

You can’t help but feel like you can do anything, when you’ve got good company. Their optimism is contagious and you always feel more energetic around them because they exude confidence and compassion.

Feel the need to ask questions regarding your choice of company? You can always ask all the questions you need to in the comments section 🙂 Or share this post if you liked it 🙂

5 Benefits Multilinguals Get To Enjoy ;)

Knowing more than one language is pretty awesome. I never appreciated multilingualism as much as I should have, back when I was younger. However, knowing that your tongue has an eclectic menu (naughty, naughty, get your head outta the gutter- mine’s already there) to offer is quite comforting. So, what are the benefits of knowing more than one (or 2) language?

1. Discounts and slashed prices.

I can’t even begin to explain the joy you’re likely to feel just by knowing that a pathan shopkeeper’s going to slash prices by Rs. 300-500 off of his/her products just because you know his/her language. And if you know Punjabi, for example, you can just throw in a few well-constructed swear words, make them laugh and know that you’re just going to get a product of your choice, on discount.

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And then you can give others this “And that’s how it’s done” look.

Note- Pathans are more likely to give you bigger discounts.

2. You can send others into a state of terminal shock by showing you know their language. 

Imagine walking into a room and hearing someone insult you in a language that they think you aren’t very familiar with. Just KNOWING that you can understand what they’re saying makes you feel amazing. Also, you can use the same language to cause serious damage or to win people over.

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Story from personal experience: a few years ago my best friends and I were on the verge of dying of starvation because we’d voluntarily chosen to eat McDonald’s, late at night, in Islamabad. We couldn’t find seats inside and so, we stepped out and happened to find seats right next to this family of 15-20 Pathan men and women. The ‘head’ of the family happened to pass a comment implying that we had stepped out to eat because we couldn’t get any ‘eye candy’ inside. In retaliation, after the family stopped laughing, I stated, IN PUSHTO that people who felt others didn’t understand their language must be pretty stupid and they’re an insult to their kind.
The family got up and left within a few seconds of knowing that they had insulted someone who was ‘their own’.

3. You get to combine words, metaphors and sentences to come up with amazing comebacks and insults. 

Try chaining various words and statements together and you’ll come up with a statement that is insulting and you’ll probably leave your opponent speechless. You’re never at a loss for words or expressions and you get to express yourself in more than one ways.

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Also, you can combine the stupidest words and statements to come up with a joke or one-liner that sounds HILARIOUS by combining all the languages you know.

As a bonus, you can say the stupidest things and make them sound supremely sexy/offensive/mean/rude/smart/adorable .

4. You can share secrets with fellow multilinguals in front of other people. 

You get to enjoy the luxury of indulging in private conversations IN THE PRESENCE of other people who don’t know your language at all!

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5. Flirting’s a lot more fun and sexier. 

Of course you enjoy the privilege of switching accents and dialects too. Thus the level of seduction = how well you pull off an accent. Multilinguals don’t have to try to change their accents- they just do so…..effortlessly.

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Dear Nano, Happy Birthday

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Today would have been your 60-something birthday and I say “something” because I know if I asked you “Nano, how old are you today?” you would have said “Haye, bachay!” and then, you would have told me that you were younger than you really were until I’d pry further and then, you’d say “Jabay!” to tell me I had a long tongue and needed to stop being so inquisitive.

I’ve never really done this for anyone- written about them or commemorated them by writing to or about them but somehow I feel the need to do so for you- not to impress you but because I know that writing was therapeutic for you and in doing so, I guess I’m trying to invoke you so I can see you again or connect to or with you.  You, yourself, loved writing. You’d write scripts for hours or you’d be talking about the kinds of scripts you’d like to write.

However, when we’d interrupt you, or walk in, you’d give your writing a break when you’d realize your family had come to spend time with you or to meet you and you’d set your pen down, forgetting all deadlines and demands of your director and you’d ask if we wanted tea and then, I’d lie down in your lap and talk to you for hours. I’d ask you all sorts of questions and somehow you’d have an answer for all of them (something that you passed on to all of us).

There were times when I’d be upset and somehow you just “knew” that something was wrong or up. You’d call me and say “Bachay, what happened?” and you’d listen to me rant about something or someone for hours- forgetting your own woes and worries. There were times when you’d be watching your favorite television show, a drama that you’d written a script for or when you’d be thinking about your own woes and worries but you’d just shut everything to listen to what I had to say. You never judged me or others.

I remember there were times when your friends, sisters, cousins, nephews, mama, Gupo Khala, Nima khala, Ahmed Mamoo or Abu or Baba would call you and you’d talk to them, even when you had errands to run or chores to do. When someone would interrupt your talk sessions you’d say “Haye, chup sha yao minute (please, stay quiet for a second)”, making the other person feel loved and cherished and like they had someone to talk to.

You’d crack all sorts of jokes- even when you were angry or shattered by some news. No matter what happened you’d laugh and smile. There was thing about your smile- it’d go all the way up to your eyes and we’d never know whether something was bothering you. Your smile was genuine, as were your words.

You’d have so much energy and would spoil your grandkids so much. Whenever we wanted something you’d ask Kaka to get us something to eat or you’d call a deliveryman and ask him to send us our favorite dish or food. When we wouldn’t eat enough you’d say “Bachay nor ookora (Child, eat more)”.

You were the one person who knew EVERYTHING about me. You knew me to the core- secrets, funny stories, sad ones, those moments that infuriated me and every time you’d see or feel that I was upset about something you’d say something outrageously hilarious and pat me on the head till I’d fall asleep.

I’ve always missed you, since you passed away and yet I feel like you’re going to come back and that you’ve just gone to run a few errands. As mama says “It doesn’t feel like she isn’t here. It feels like she’s travelling. She loved to travel. It feels like she’ll come back at any moment”.

I’ve always felt your presence. It’s as if though you’re right here, right next to me and at the same time you’re so far away. Even today I can feel you patting my face and confide in you. I know you’re partying things up in Heaven because you always knew how to get people together and how to arrange parties.

I love you. I miss you. I wish you were here, Nano.

Happy Birthday.
From Humzah

The Caitlyn Jenner Problem

Anyone and everyone who’s reading this blog post is likely to know about Caitlyn Jenner and to those of you who don’t- Caitlyn Jenner was formerly known as the gold medalist Bruce Jenner.

New York, NY - Caitlyn Jenner was spotted hanging with her new group of transgender girlfriends on Tuesday evening, heading to a performance of 'An American In Paris' on Broadway.    AKM-GSI June 30, 2015 To License These Photos, Please Contact : Steve Ginsburg (310) 505-8447 (323) 423-9397 steve@akmgsi.com sales@akmgsi.com or Maria Buda (917) 242-1505 mbuda@akmgsi.com ginsburgspalyinc@gmail.com

Caitlyn Jenner

I intended on blogging about the superficial aspects of media, all across the world, on different blogs, which I’ll site here later but the Caitlyn Jenner problem was something that I, as a lover of underdogs, felt needed to be addressed.

Moving on.

When Bruce Jenner became Caitlyn Jenner I was actually kind of proud to see that a Jenner/Kardashian was going to give television and life meaning that Keeping Up With The Kardashians failed to address. Admittedly I’ve never seen KUWTK nor have I seen “I Am Cait” but I certainly do follow news that I feel comes within my scope.

So, Caitlyn’s original claim was that she’d stand up for the LGBTQ community and that she was/is well-aware of topics that affect people all around her. I’ve seen her teary-eyed on various shows and snapshots, talking about how difficult it is to live in a world where people fail to recognize those who are different or those who make different choices and what not.

On the 15/16th of July she won the Arthur Ashe Courage Award (http://hollywoodlife.com/2015/07/15/caitlyn-jenner-speech-espys-video-espy-awards-2015/) where she managed to move people, give them hope and she addressed topics that needed to be addressed on a public platform. She also looked smoking hot, graceful and she proved that she wasn’t just some bombshell with no brain. However, I (and many others) feel that there were more deserving candidates who have stood up for the LGBTQ community and have represented the interests of the community. Laverne Cox is an example of a more deserving candidate from the community.

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averne Cox

However, is it just me or are people focusing on the wrong things? Tabloids, televisions shows, show hosts, magazines, bloggers, blogs and the media in general seems to be focusing more on what she wore or how she managed to wow the audience in a white dress or other superficial topics of the sort- which takes me to my next point: the media, generally, seems to focus on topics that have absolutely nothing to do with topics that matter. Sure, you’ll see or hear a few clips here and there or you’ll see a few snapshots online but it will not talk about how SHE stands up for people who do not enjoy the same privileges as Caitlyn Jenner.

Is turning Caitlyn Jenner into a fashion icon really the solution? Or is she just banking on the emotions of a community that is already targeted by the world, at large (I’m sure this is not the case)? Which, again, takes me to my next point- is the media so bent on objectifying women that it fails to address problems that actually matter?

These were just a few thoughts that I needed to pen down.

The Mind And Depression

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Be Your Gladiator

Back when I was suffering from depression I couldn’t pinpoint what it was that made me feel the way that I felt (be it agitated, angry, sad or any other negative emotion that is felt when one suffers from depression). A few years later I got my answer: it was my mind.

We tend not to recognize when we allow our thought processes and minds to take control over us. Consequentially, we lose all control over ourselves and allow our thoughts to pave the path to depression. The thoughts start to play on a loop and then, become more predominant and repetitive and they echo in our heads until they sink into our hearts and souls making us lose all hope and sense of what it means to be happy or positive.

That is how the journey to depression starts.

First, pinpoint the cause(s) of your depression ( I will address…

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How To Recognize a Two-Faced Person

There once was a man who lived in a castle,
For success, he’d trample others in haste, 
When it came time to go to war and to battle, 
He stayed behind, claiming to combat would be in poor taste
All the while he had to make various choices but being a coward he claimed to be too chaste, 
Once a pig looked at him and said “Even I wouldn’t eat you, alive or dead, I’d much rather eat my waste” 

Dear readers,

I know that at some point every one of you has encountered, befriended and/or been stabbed by a two-faced person, in some way or the other. Some of you might be two-faced people and then, there are those of you that well know your friends and companions are such but you make excuses for them.

Initially, I’d try looking for the ‘good’ in such people- and I still do- but certain people don’t deserve to be forgiven for their cowardice. Regardless of what category someone that you know, falls under, remember that making excuses for a two-faced person won’t benefit you nor him/her. You’ve GOT to call them out and stand up for yourself when the need to do so strikes.
Right. Enough of the chit-chatter, now let’s go on to analyze the two-faced batter. In other words, let’s talk about the signs that should help you recognize you’re dealing with a two-faced person:

1. They claim you’re their bestie……until you’re out of earshot.

Ah, the “He/she is my best friend’ claim. It’s almost as if though these guys were born with the sweetest tongues but then, when you turn around, that tongue can be the cause of your demise. A two-faced person will leak their said ‘besties’ secrets to the entire world. If they’re calling YOU “MY BEST FRIEND IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD”, just know they mean the exact opposite. They don’t really give much of a damn about you. They’re using you and no, they’re not ‘sweet’ to you because they’re genuine human beings. They’re ‘sweet’ to you because they WANT something. Once you fulfill their wish(es) you’re thrown aside and never hear from them again (if you’re lucky) OR you become their crony because they need your to help them with something or the other at all times. And when you turn your back on them, they’ll be bitching about you to their other ‘friends’ or social circle.

2. You hear they’re bad news- from others.
They say “where there’s smoke, there’s fire”. Now, you know I’m not the kind of person that allows others to affect his judgment and I’ve been friends with several two-faced, backstabbers when I shouldn’t have been. That’s because I believe that everyone’s experience is different. A two-faced person might see me, or one of his/her friends as someone they can confide in. That’s okay but if you’re the kind of person who gets affected by such behavior or people, it’s probably better that you take a step back.
You might hear stories from ‘former besties’, exes and even strangers about how wretched a particular two-faced person treated them. Does that mean they’ll treat you the same way? Chances are they will.

Speaking from experience: a few years ago I befriended a particular person. He was really kind towards me and I towards him. Many people told me to be wary of him but I didn’t listen to them. A few weeks, down the line, I discovered he was going around saying the cruelest things about me. We loathe each other now and he’s probably the only person I’m not too fond of. I refuse to waste my

3. They’re kinder in the public eye than they are with you at private events and get togethers.

A while ago a friend of mine asked me- “How can some people be so fake? How can they be so warm and kind to one another at social events? And then, be just as cold at private events and parties?”

Two-faced people change certain aspects of themselves, in public, because they wish to be likeable. A certain part of a two-faced person always craves attention and he or she will get it in any way possible. Such a person will divulge your secrets to others to ridicule you, behind you back, to make their place. I’ve personally encountered such people and trust me- it’s not a pleasant sight nor is it something that I wish for anyone else to go through.

4. They fake piety.

Such people often fake piety, preach religion and humanity but their thoughts and close-mindedness becomes apparent in fragments. If you’re someone that’s seemingly meek or gentle, you might get to see or witness what they’re actually like because they’ll feel as if they can make you do anything, they want, and that you won’t go away because you’re scared of them or because you need/want them in your life.

5. Their smiles.

You can always tell what a person’s like by their smiles. In my experience, there are 3 kinds of smiles:

Mischievous smile-rs: their smiles are warm while their eyes shine with mischief and naughtiness. These are kind-hearted individuals that like to have fun and you can see the kindness in their eyes.

Warm smile-rs: the kindness and warmth of their hearts often travels to their eyes. They radiate positivity and make you feel comfortable.

Sneers: no matter what a two-faced person does his/her smile and eyes will be void of warmth. You’ll never feel comfortable with them.

Word of advice: follow your gut and instincts with these people. You’ve no reason to let them push you around. A two-faced person is anything but your friend. Don’t trust them and DO filter them out.

General Announcement for Those Who Care

Dear readers,

You’ve noticed that my blog posts have been eclectic on The Diary of A Haphazard Thinker.

Also, I’ve included links to the site that covers more serious topics: The Diary of A Serious Thinker. I’ll frequently include links to navigate you to blog posts on both blogs.

This is a short and brief announcement: I was recently advised on starting a blog that was focused, rather than eclectic, and that is exactly what I am about to do.

The new blog will focus on topics that are related to self-improvement, self-inspection and basically everything that will help you to deal with the darkness in your life and mind so you can improve your lives. So think of it as a blog that will help you build yourself and analyze your life, in general. How will it be different from the other two blogs?

Answer:We’ve all fought our battles and I just hope to help those of you that are still struggling with yours. Hope to see you on that blog and that you have a great day/ life.

I will continue to write blog posts on The Diary of A Serious Think and The Diary of A Haphazard Thinker, too.

🙂 Thank you for taking the time to read this!

 

EDIT: The link of the website is as follows: https://beyourgladiator.wordpress.com/ (Be Your Gladiator).

Humzah